A world away

I have a lot of long distance relationships with some of my greatest friends, the farthest of which is in Colombia and a bit closer perhaps in Missouri. These are really great to have, and make good pen pals, but sometimes they hurt, badly. Sometimes I feel ready to grab my broomstick with Lily and take off. Or jump on a train or plane and just go live with them. I'd be content to be a nomad and tour the world, staying with friends while having real conversations about life and books and cats. That seems like the life of an author. Strangely appealing. This is all to say that loving over a long distance is rewarding, but almost ruining at the same time. It is so different from the kind of people you enjoy but see every week. It makes every letter, call or visit all the more precious. You don't waste time with nonsense.
It also makes me really think about exactly what I like about them. Why do I bother keeping in contact. I can think of a lot of kids a would not bother keeping in touch with. Then again, I wouldn't call them friends now anyway, rather relationships born of necessity. I think that might be for another post though.

Back to distance friends, I think they work because that is partly how they were originally formed. Some I see only over the summer, some every couple years. Each of them is unique in what kind of relationship I have with them. A type that I almost couldn't have otherwise because I don't think I would relate to them in the same way if they lived nearby. As in this is the way I can be honest and would be more likely to ask for help. Not that I don't love visits, but the very act of remaining a part of my life is telling, especially when they are the one who first instigated staying in touch.

And I can get to know them in an entirely different way than I do my home friends. I may not know their favorite color or food, but I know other things like  their writing style and how often they check emails, all things that hint at what their life is going like. I also know that it can be frustrating waiting, even maddening. Why aren't they answering? What's taking so long? I guess they don't want to talk anymore. They're stupid assumptions and not true. I still think these things, often, but I've accepted that not everyone has the same schedule as I do. The one thing I can say has helped, although it still hurts, is don't expect a reply. When you anticipate an answer the very next day or even the next week, it makes the disappointment all the worse. You let yourself down. So write as if resigned to the fact that you are having a one way conversation but there is a person on the end who cares and understands. Because there is and when they get around to remembering, five weeks later, that makes the correspondence a pleasant surprise to hold you over for the next couple weeks while you wait some more. Who knows, maybe I will end up rooming with them one day.

I am currently in my own little world away, off in the Great Perhaps. Away from the guilt that I'm not practising music or doing math like I should. I suppose it wouldn't be very good if I started physics this year without having ever done algebra though. I did survive chemistry however, somehow. It's still summer though, so I will enjoy every minute while I can. I have come up with a new theory about why toddlers copy everything you say. It's because we repeat nearly everything they say. Stop saying things twice and they might see that that's not really how we speak. Not that it bothers me, it's a hard habit to break, but I thought it was interesting.