Tomorrow is my birthday, I'll be officially sweet! I'm super excited because I have a lot of fun things planned. But besides that, I have some awesome news. The final decisions in court were written up and I was given the decision concerning my own education, meaning I can home-school again! Talk about answered prayers, this seemed like a complete miracle to me. It was totally unexpected. I guess I've been thinking about it for so long that I really never imagined anything could change. Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am truly grateful. All I could think about when I got the news was this quote by M.L.K. Jr. He says: “Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.” A flood of relief seeped through me and it all felt so surreal. Though I have not yet switched out of public school, the knowledge that I can whenever I wish is giving me strength. A whole new world of opportunities has been opened. And it's not just a dream, it's for real; I have to keep telling myself that. I simply can not express my happiness. God really does answer our prayers.
Today I can not think what to write on any one specific topic. A lot of things will be changing for me, hopefully for the better, and I know I'll still be on rocky road but I believe that that's the life of a Christian. If everything was easy there would be no reason for trust. God calls us to have child-like faith. I just realised that I rather confused that statement by using both trust and faith consecutively which makes me wonder are they the same thing? According to the online dictionary, faith is "complete trust or confidence in someone or something" or the religious version, "strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof." While trust is defined as "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something." See they overlap in a way, because trust is used in the definition of faith. So they're similar, yet different. Faith I think is more something to have in Christ, whereas trust is something we achieve through faith. With all this court stuff, it's not the faith I need to work on, because I know God has a higher plan, it's the trust with the when, why, and how.
Constantly I'll sit around praying when when when? It must be obnoxious how little trust I have. If after a week nothing has happened, I tend to give up, thinking oh well, it's never going to happen. The knowledge that God has a plan for me doesn't go beyond that sometimes. I mean that I don't always believe it in my heart that it's possible for him to accomplish things that seem far fetched to me, which is ridiculous because he is so much greater than us. The fact that the results of court came as a shock means I was expecting nothing good to come of it. Except God was in charge all along and rescued me, not just barely, but with victory and triumph. He was the ultimate judge, he gave the final ruling to set me free of father's stubbornness. After these five long and hard years, I have been answered. And not only that, but I have been so strengthened through my experiences that I am excited to see where I'll be going next. I need to stop asking when and just believe that all will be revealed at the proper time, however long it might take.
With my new-found freedom I hope to practice my instruments more, write more, read more, learn more, and I will strive to be encouraging to others. I might even audit a Greek class at the college, something I've wanted to do for years but never had the time before. I am so happy I had today off of school to sort thinks through and have a relaxing weekend. September birthdays are the best!
I have two verses for the week this time because I missed last Friday accidentally.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Hebrew 11:1
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
You Know You're A Suzuki-ist When...
I was thinking about some things that suzuki method kids have in common and a lot of them are pretty strange so I thought I'd share what I came up with.
You know you're a "suzuki-ist" when...
1. You are shocked after trying to explain a rhythm as "goody goody stop stop," that they don't know what that means
This is the first rhythm every suzuki player learns. I remember going as a beginner to observe the Christmas concert and watching all the pre-twinkles do the cute little bow exercise while saying goody goody stop stop. I leaned over and whispered in my mum's ear "I'm never doing that." I'm reminded frequently of this as it was introduced in my first week or so and I still use it today.
3. You catch yourself thinking the "words" while you play
Let's face it, how many pieces can you play in book one without thinking of them as songs with words? Maybe one? Every time I play Minuet One I'll be thinking "I'm special la la la la..." whether I want to or not.
4. You only know the made up name of the piece
I think I will forever be convinced that Allegretto is really called Mr. Frog and Lightly Row is Little Mouse. It's so much more catchy. As the books go on they don't have as many funny names nor words but there's still a couple.
5. You'd rather play by ear than bother reading the music
A lot of kids think memorizing is so much work but it actually makes life so much easier! Playing by ear is something you can develop at a younger age and a lot of the time I prefer it to reading music. I don't think you'd meet someone from a public school orchestra who could do that.
6. When you can't resist ending a concert with twinkle theme
Haha old Suzuki traditions...every concert ends with all ages from beginners to graduates playing what every child began with--twinkle twinkle little star.
You know you're a "suzuki-ist" when...
1. You are shocked after trying to explain a rhythm as "goody goody stop stop," that they don't know what that means
This is the first rhythm every suzuki player learns. I remember going as a beginner to observe the Christmas concert and watching all the pre-twinkles do the cute little bow exercise while saying goody goody stop stop. I leaned over and whispered in my mum's ear "I'm never doing that." I'm reminded frequently of this as it was introduced in my first week or so and I still use it today.
2. Humming suzuki pieces to yourself
This can be a good sign or a bad one depending on how you look at it. It's good because this implies that you've been listening to the cd a lot as this type of learning requires. Unfortunately, they get stuck in your head and who wants to be caught humming classical music to themselves? This might earn you the title of music nerd.
This can be a good sign or a bad one depending on how you look at it. It's good because this implies that you've been listening to the cd a lot as this type of learning requires. Unfortunately, they get stuck in your head and who wants to be caught humming classical music to themselves? This might earn you the title of music nerd.
3. You catch yourself thinking the "words" while you play
Let's face it, how many pieces can you play in book one without thinking of them as songs with words? Maybe one? Every time I play Minuet One I'll be thinking "I'm special la la la la..." whether I want to or not.
4. You only know the made up name of the piece
I think I will forever be convinced that Allegretto is really called Mr. Frog and Lightly Row is Little Mouse. It's so much more catchy. As the books go on they don't have as many funny names nor words but there's still a couple.
5. You'd rather play by ear than bother reading the music
A lot of kids think memorizing is so much work but it actually makes life so much easier! Playing by ear is something you can develop at a younger age and a lot of the time I prefer it to reading music. I don't think you'd meet someone from a public school orchestra who could do that.
6. When you can't resist ending a concert with twinkle theme
Haha old Suzuki traditions...every concert ends with all ages from beginners to graduates playing what every child began with--twinkle twinkle little star.
7. You cram in all your memorizing the day before a concert
Somehow even though we know memorization will be required, we always end up practicing like crazy the day before in order to learn a piece. In fact I need to go practice right now for a recording being made tomorrow. Ahh!
8. You wake up in the middle of the night sweating about messing up a 500 box at a recital
This is when you know you've over-practiced a box. You could probably play it in your sleep but it still plagues you.
9. Comparing life to time signatures. In other words...
4/4 time a.k.a. common time- I'm fine, everything's normal
3/4 time- pretty slow, a bit dull
6/8 time- I'm going crazy!
2/2 time- ehh...
Okay well maybe number nine is going a bit far...I made it up to have another example but the rest are true. And now for a musical verse...
Psalm 101:1
I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to you, O Lord, I will make music.
Well, I'm off to practice.
Somehow even though we know memorization will be required, we always end up practicing like crazy the day before in order to learn a piece. In fact I need to go practice right now for a recording being made tomorrow. Ahh!
8. You wake up in the middle of the night sweating about messing up a 500 box at a recital
This is when you know you've over-practiced a box. You could probably play it in your sleep but it still plagues you.
9. Comparing life to time signatures. In other words...
4/4 time a.k.a. common time- I'm fine, everything's normal
3/4 time- pretty slow, a bit dull
6/8 time- I'm going crazy!
2/2 time- ehh...
Okay well maybe number nine is going a bit far...I made it up to have another example but the rest are true. And now for a musical verse...
Psalm 101:1
I will sing of steadfast love and justice; to you, O Lord, I will make music.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Kitty Korner
I'll try not to bore you with another entire page on just my cats but once in a while I am going to give the Kitty Korner Update. These won't be on Fridays necessarily, rather whenever I have a funny picture, story, or report to make on my kitties. It just happened to be a post I had ready.
This summer was a major hunting season for my cats. Almost every day they would show up with a decapitated critter hanging from their mouths from little mousey to big bunny, they've caught them all. Just a few weeks ago I was calling out the front door for George to come in, when he jumped out of nowhere up the side of the porch with something tight in his jaws. He was so fast that by the time I realised what was happening he was halfway through the door and as I scrambled to shut it on him he squeezed through. He ran a short way before I grabbed for his middle and he dropped what he'd brought in. I nearly died with exasperation and disgust. It was rabbit legs. Just two of them. Weren't bloody or anything, but I mean! What cat finds two hind legs of a bunny and carries them around? Ugh. I made mum put them out because I couldn't stomach it. As gross as it was, I couldn't stop laughing from the hilarity of that dumb little cat. Something that may have made up for it was a local cute pet contest I was going to enter him in. All I had to do was send in a cute picture but I missed the deadline. Maybe next time. When he isn't catching bunny legs he can be so silly. Like when he was thirsty I turned on the sink for him to drink from the faucet but instead of just putting his tongue in like normal cats, he sticks his whole head under! What a little bumpkin...
On another instance he wasn't so cute. One of his favorite hobbies is bird watching. Every year I grow sunflowers which reach almost two stories high. Well, George loves flowers. He sits under them in the shade and sleeps. So he picked one, literally. I woke up in the morning to find one sunflower had fallen down and another had been snapped from the root and I spied the culprit sitting smugly, almost lazily around underneath. He's ridiculous. The other two haven't exactly been little angels either, they're just not so obvious. Near the end of summer the gold finches come and eat up the seeds. Last year when they were here George leaped from the porch and caught a bird in his gross little mouth. Awful cat. So this time I'm betting something similar occurred.
Surprisingly enough, Lily is the one with the latest adventure. Lily is the little runt, the one that's always begging for food and unlike Fred, she only spends 1-2 nights outside each year on average. I mean barely ever! But on Tuesday of this week I realised she had not come in the night before and I'd not seen her since. I was worried but what could I do? It's just so unlike her to disappear. The next day she was still nowhere to be found and I was getting anxious thinking of all the possible scenarios. No sign of her the next day either. I told my neighbors to keep an eye out for her. Three whole nights she was gone. Three whole nights I felt her absence beside my pillow and no furry face to smother with kisses. Finally yesterday I arrived home to find a note scribbled on the door saying she was back! I went inside and there she was, running down the stairs to me and I swept her into my arms. I'd forgotten how light she was. Complete and seemingly without injury, my little Lily was home at last. I wish I could ask her where she went. So thankful she's back!
Everything has been okay here (especially now with Lily safe). Not great, but bearable. This week is the one where everything else that was off for the summer starts back up and I will be even more busy! I'm not exactly looking forward to it but I think that if I had any more free time than I do now, I might find myself bored. I need to stay doing things or I could end up stuck in the same place forever, lost in my own world of thoughts. This is why I like to make plans. It keeps me focused, able to sit for seven hours every day without talking to anyone. Not real conversations anyway, the occasional hi in the hallway doesn't count. I keep telling myself to look ahead, not dwell too much on worthless worries, and before I know it I'll be home. That will be my advice for the week.
Look ahead, not behind. Praying really helps too. Unceasing, constant prayer has proven my only friend on these seemingly endless school days and it's the only thing keeping me moving along. Something I'm going to try and add is a verse of the week, hopefully relevant to the topic. So here's this weeks':
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18)
That's all I have time for now. Bye and be back next Friday!
This summer was a major hunting season for my cats. Almost every day they would show up with a decapitated critter hanging from their mouths from little mousey to big bunny, they've caught them all. Just a few weeks ago I was calling out the front door for George to come in, when he jumped out of nowhere up the side of the porch with something tight in his jaws. He was so fast that by the time I realised what was happening he was halfway through the door and as I scrambled to shut it on him he squeezed through. He ran a short way before I grabbed for his middle and he dropped what he'd brought in. I nearly died with exasperation and disgust. It was rabbit legs. Just two of them. Weren't bloody or anything, but I mean! What cat finds two hind legs of a bunny and carries them around? Ugh. I made mum put them out because I couldn't stomach it. As gross as it was, I couldn't stop laughing from the hilarity of that dumb little cat. Something that may have made up for it was a local cute pet contest I was going to enter him in. All I had to do was send in a cute picture but I missed the deadline. Maybe next time. When he isn't catching bunny legs he can be so silly. Like when he was thirsty I turned on the sink for him to drink from the faucet but instead of just putting his tongue in like normal cats, he sticks his whole head under! What a little bumpkin...
On another instance he wasn't so cute. One of his favorite hobbies is bird watching. Every year I grow sunflowers which reach almost two stories high. Well, George loves flowers. He sits under them in the shade and sleeps. So he picked one, literally. I woke up in the morning to find one sunflower had fallen down and another had been snapped from the root and I spied the culprit sitting smugly, almost lazily around underneath. He's ridiculous. The other two haven't exactly been little angels either, they're just not so obvious. Near the end of summer the gold finches come and eat up the seeds. Last year when they were here George leaped from the porch and caught a bird in his gross little mouth. Awful cat. So this time I'm betting something similar occurred.
Surprisingly enough, Lily is the one with the latest adventure. Lily is the little runt, the one that's always begging for food and unlike Fred, she only spends 1-2 nights outside each year on average. I mean barely ever! But on Tuesday of this week I realised she had not come in the night before and I'd not seen her since. I was worried but what could I do? It's just so unlike her to disappear. The next day she was still nowhere to be found and I was getting anxious thinking of all the possible scenarios. No sign of her the next day either. I told my neighbors to keep an eye out for her. Three whole nights she was gone. Three whole nights I felt her absence beside my pillow and no furry face to smother with kisses. Finally yesterday I arrived home to find a note scribbled on the door saying she was back! I went inside and there she was, running down the stairs to me and I swept her into my arms. I'd forgotten how light she was. Complete and seemingly without injury, my little Lily was home at last. I wish I could ask her where she went. So thankful she's back!
Everything has been okay here (especially now with Lily safe). Not great, but bearable. This week is the one where everything else that was off for the summer starts back up and I will be even more busy! I'm not exactly looking forward to it but I think that if I had any more free time than I do now, I might find myself bored. I need to stay doing things or I could end up stuck in the same place forever, lost in my own world of thoughts. This is why I like to make plans. It keeps me focused, able to sit for seven hours every day without talking to anyone. Not real conversations anyway, the occasional hi in the hallway doesn't count. I keep telling myself to look ahead, not dwell too much on worthless worries, and before I know it I'll be home. That will be my advice for the week.
Look ahead, not behind. Praying really helps too. Unceasing, constant prayer has proven my only friend on these seemingly endless school days and it's the only thing keeping me moving along. Something I'm going to try and add is a verse of the week, hopefully relevant to the topic. So here's this weeks':
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18)
That's all I have time for now. Bye and be back next Friday!
Friday, September 6, 2013
How's Life?
This must be one of my least favorite questions ever. It's so packed yet there would never really be time for me to answer with even a hint of truth. We just say good and the conversation moves on...or stops. What did we accomplish? Nothing, it was a waste of breath. So I'm going to give a run down of exactly what goes through my mind every time I'm posed the "how's life?" along with a few other annoying ones.
First of all, this is usually a go-to question when you're standing around with a person you don't know very well and have nothing else to say. Except it never triggers anything new to talk about so it makes it all the more awkward. For most, "good" is the automatic reply. The fact is, even if I was feeling differently, I wouldn't likely tell the person because I don't normally go telling random people about my troubles besides which it wouldn't make any difference. This is meant in the nicest way possible because I'm sure I do the same. I just mean that we have a natural tendency to think about ourselves and aren't likely to care deeply for someone you talk to for five minutes. Life moves on and you forget you ever spoke to them. It's like that with all small talk and that's why I shy away from it.
"What's up?"
"Nothing much."
"How are you?"
"Good."
And the worst one yet...
"How's school?"
"Fine."
It's common courtesy to answer like this even if it's not true. The second one is actually the most annoying for me. Most of the time no one really wants to know how you're feeling and might even feel a little miffed they ever asked if you complain to them. How would you react if I said horrible? What if my cat died and I don't want to talk about it? There are hundreds of things that go wrong every day and very few go by that I'd truly call a "good" day. To me it's just become a meaningless phrase to be thrown around, something to ignore because everyone asks it. But there are still ways to make it meaningful if it's asked in the proper way. Here are some I could think of:
1. Do you really have time to listen?
A common use of it is as you pass someone in the hall at school. I can generally avoid answering by just smiling at them and they won't even care that I didn't reply. Seriously, if you genuinely care about the response, ask it some other time where the only possible answer that can fit in the given time isn't "good."
2. Are you truly interested?
Are you just nodding your head and pretending to listen while really thinking about how you wish you were at home texting your friends? Or are you looking for possible signs of hurt or longing that the person is trapped behind. They might be in desperate need of someone to talk to. I can tell a fake when I see one.
3. Will you remember?
Will you pray for the person? Maybe ask them about it later? It would make it that much more meaningful.
I know that people are only trying to be polite but when it comes down to it, personally I think I'd rather not be asked at all. Sometimes it even leaves me feeling worse. This is coming from someone who had to lie about it every day of her life. I'd think about it a long time afterwards, wondering what would happen if I was truthful. What if I told them, you know what? I have a verbally abusive father at home, I haven't spoken a word all day at school, I lost my favorite pen, and I'm honestly feeling terrible. What then? The one person who asked it of me every day happened to be the one who never listened--my father. He'd ask how school was and though I said "horrid" and "awful" he barely noticed. He'd say "good, good" while riffling through some papers. The occasional time he appeared to have heard and ventured to ask why it was bad, he didn't bother to listen to the explanation. It merely amused him and I was never taken seriously.
Was this a worthwhile post? Probably not. Will it still be a question everyone uses? Undoubtedly. It's not like it mortally offends me, I simply wanted to show the shallowness behind it. So that next time you're about to ask it, you might think twice and try to think of something else...something a little more answerable.
First of all, this is usually a go-to question when you're standing around with a person you don't know very well and have nothing else to say. Except it never triggers anything new to talk about so it makes it all the more awkward. For most, "good" is the automatic reply. The fact is, even if I was feeling differently, I wouldn't likely tell the person because I don't normally go telling random people about my troubles besides which it wouldn't make any difference. This is meant in the nicest way possible because I'm sure I do the same. I just mean that we have a natural tendency to think about ourselves and aren't likely to care deeply for someone you talk to for five minutes. Life moves on and you forget you ever spoke to them. It's like that with all small talk and that's why I shy away from it.
"What's up?"
"Nothing much."
"How are you?"
"Good."
And the worst one yet...
"How's school?"
"Fine."
It's common courtesy to answer like this even if it's not true. The second one is actually the most annoying for me. Most of the time no one really wants to know how you're feeling and might even feel a little miffed they ever asked if you complain to them. How would you react if I said horrible? What if my cat died and I don't want to talk about it? There are hundreds of things that go wrong every day and very few go by that I'd truly call a "good" day. To me it's just become a meaningless phrase to be thrown around, something to ignore because everyone asks it. But there are still ways to make it meaningful if it's asked in the proper way. Here are some I could think of:
1. Do you really have time to listen?
A common use of it is as you pass someone in the hall at school. I can generally avoid answering by just smiling at them and they won't even care that I didn't reply. Seriously, if you genuinely care about the response, ask it some other time where the only possible answer that can fit in the given time isn't "good."
2. Are you truly interested?
Are you just nodding your head and pretending to listen while really thinking about how you wish you were at home texting your friends? Or are you looking for possible signs of hurt or longing that the person is trapped behind. They might be in desperate need of someone to talk to. I can tell a fake when I see one.
3. Will you remember?
Will you pray for the person? Maybe ask them about it later? It would make it that much more meaningful.
I know that people are only trying to be polite but when it comes down to it, personally I think I'd rather not be asked at all. Sometimes it even leaves me feeling worse. This is coming from someone who had to lie about it every day of her life. I'd think about it a long time afterwards, wondering what would happen if I was truthful. What if I told them, you know what? I have a verbally abusive father at home, I haven't spoken a word all day at school, I lost my favorite pen, and I'm honestly feeling terrible. What then? The one person who asked it of me every day happened to be the one who never listened--my father. He'd ask how school was and though I said "horrid" and "awful" he barely noticed. He'd say "good, good" while riffling through some papers. The occasional time he appeared to have heard and ventured to ask why it was bad, he didn't bother to listen to the explanation. It merely amused him and I was never taken seriously.
Was this a worthwhile post? Probably not. Will it still be a question everyone uses? Undoubtedly. It's not like it mortally offends me, I simply wanted to show the shallowness behind it. So that next time you're about to ask it, you might think twice and try to think of something else...something a little more answerable.
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