Time Heals Nothing

It is the fact that time causes forgetfulness which, I think everyone can agree, does not fix the problem but ignores it. I think this seems to be how many kids and adults today deal with their disagreements. Then there's always a gap between the two people because it was never originally addressed. At least for me, it grows increasingly difficult at that point to treat that person the way it was before the offence. This too is in part due to forgetfulness because one grows so used to the new treatment of the other, that any previous closeness is far gone.

Counselors say that this is not an easy fix, and that both sides must be willing to cooperate with each other in a long term treatment plan that involves tedious office visits. I say differently. The successful stories of this type of remedy could only have occurred between two Christians otherwise likely did not really occur at all, only appeared to. Something I'm leaning is that forgiveness comes through Christ, not on our own. We are too sinful to ever be able to restrain all the hatred and anger towards those who hurt us without the assistance of a higher power.

The one thing I'd agree from a shrink's perspective, is that you must want to forgive. I do however think that it can be one sided. It's so easy to hold a grudge, hard to get rid of it. In fact, we like holding grudges. It's a sinful pleasure that ruins so many good relationships that might have turned out fine. Destroying a friendship is easy as going down a stream. The current is with you, because that's how humans are wired, it is extremely hard for us to get along with each other without occasional disagreements. Then when you realize you've done something and want to try and fix it, it's like going upstream and the current, the world, is pushing at you to keep going down the path to destruction.

Those are my words of wisdom for the week. Don't go with flow. Fight, fight, and fight some more until God helps you conquer, or at least keep at bay, the evil that is at the same time fighting to take over.

Now I'm off to a church retreat for the weekend, where I will hopefully have a nice refreshing day and a half before I must come back early to make some music and finish a load of homework. Thank you for anyone who has patiently waited for my posts to finally come out as I try to find time to edit and publish them on time and continually fail. Happy Friday!

Winter Wonder What?

Sorry, I know that was a lame attempt at an interesting title. Since I've been so behind, this is just going to be some of my thoughts on winter. With such cold weather, this has not been a good week for instruments. As soon as I get one tuned I hear a click that means one of the pegs just completely loosened and I have to start all over. Ugh! Why didn't I pick a recorder or something that doesn't care about the weather? Here's a whole list of laments and complements about living in an area that has a cold season!

I hate winter, the way it freezes me to the bone.

Yet through all the bitter cold, I love how it brings people together.
All the men in our neighborhood have snow-blowers.
They've shoveled our sidewalk like three times this week.
And then there's the one who offered to do our driveway as well.
Did I mention we're not really friends with any of these people?
Then again, what about the pleasant reminders,
Of how our little space heaters are nothing to fight against the cold?

Like this week, -15 degrees with -50 wind chill?

Ach! It makes me want to hibernate.

But thinking twice again, 

What about the hot chocolate with whipped cream

When you come in from the cold and feel yourself thawing.

I hate winter. The snow, the boots, all the heavy clothes.

At least in December there's Christmas to look forward to.

But what about in January and February, the bitterest of the year?

I don't know how I survive around here.

Kittens, blankets, heaters, hats, I couldn't live without them.
Except none of those help the way my hands are always cold.
But however much I dislike winter,
No one can resist hoping for snow days!
Staying indoors, the snow locking us in,
It's cool how whole states shut down because of God's power.
Like he's telling us to stop being busy, relax, and enjoy the snow.
This was my attempt to have a positive outlook on winter.

It's not so bad really, but with two and a half months left,
I'll be glad to see it go.

My favorite thing this winter so far has totally been the Disney movie Frozen! I've seen it almost five times I think. It is so fun and the music is absolutely, perfectly written (except the snowman) plus they used the best Broadway singer ever--Idina Menzel =P I've heard that they're making it into a live musical, that will be fun.

New Year Nightmare

Here we are, officially in 2014. Another year, another destiny. I have an interesting story to tell about one of the weirdest or maybe even the freakiest days of my life.  A year ago plus two days, my mum had volunteered her service and mine to help some friends at their party because we didn't have any other plans. It was for a group of old people so it was early in the morning as appose to staying up late the night before.  We were going to serve food and had to be early, so mum was waking me up because I hate mornings. When she left me, I rolled out of bed and hurried to dress in my pre-picked outfit. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I was a little surprised and somewhat annoyed to find that mum was standing in the door of her room, still in her pajamas, rubbing her head and looking perplexed.
"Are you getting ready?" I asked her. She just looked at me and said
"I think something weird happened."
"Like what?" I asked, annoyed at her vagueness.
"Well, I can't remember, I think I'm supposed to be doing something." she said.
"We are. We're going to the Cook's new year party, remember?"
"Whose?"
"The Cook's."
"Where do they live?"
"Umm...past that pet store on the big road."
"Why are we going there?"
"You told them we would serve the food."
"When did we decide that?"
"You just woke me up to go there! We're going to be late."
"What time are we supposed to be there?"
"In five minutes."
"What are we doing again?"
"We're serving the food!" By this time I was getting more than a little apprehensive. She didn't seem to remember who the Cook's were and seemed utterly bewildered why we were going there. "But maybe I should call them and..."
"No no. If we told them we're going then we should be there. I just can't remember..." At this point she was chewing on her lip in concentration and moved into the living room. Then she stopped up short looking at our Christmas tree.
"What's that doing there?" She asked.
"Um, that's out Christmas tree we haven't taken down yet. Are you sure you're okay?"
"It's Christmas already?"
"No, it passed a few days ago. It's new years." I didn't know whether to laugh or get help. She was getting nowhere.
"Really? How come I don't remember that?"
"I don't know but you're kinda starting to scare me. Are you still ready to go to the party or should I call?"
"Where is it?"
"At the Cook's mum, the Cook's I've already told told you. We're going to serve food."
"I thought I saw my clothes set out on the bed for something." Eventually it got through to her that she needed to go change. So I sat there, we were already late, and I knew something very weird was going on. I was even wondering if mum would remember how to drive. She came out of the bathroom wearing and interesting combination of clothing, but I was worried about other things. Thankfully we got out of the driveway fine and so I started  giving her directions.
"I think I know where it is. Remind me what we're doing there again?" she asked for what seemed like the tenth time.
"We're serving food to the old people from church." I said. We didn't talk much more on the way there, but I was wondering if I'd have to tell the people that mum wasn't doing well or something. When we got there, she parked right in front, another thing that struck me odd because she'd planned to park farther away so the older people wouldn't have to walk as far. We were quite a bit later than we said and as we stood at the front door, she looked at me and asked again,
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Just help me with whatever I do, and try not to ask the people anything." I said. The host answered and brought us in.
"Sorry we're late." Mum said. I was very glad she remembered her.
"That's okay. I was just wondering if you were coming still. Did something happen?" She asked.
I was praying she wouldn't say anything stupid, ready to explain she wasn't remembering very well. She said something like "I felt a little funny." Then, not having forgotten yet, "can we still help with anything?"
We were led into the kitchen and she said that we could fill everyone's cups with ice and water first. We were kept busy for a while, and mum didn't do anything out of the ordinary, comments or otherwise, besides forgetting we'd already done an entire table. After that we were told to go around to the people and ask what type of hot drink they'd like. The choices were coffee, decaf, and tea. Then mum asked her to give an example of how she might ask the person but I thought that could be a regular embarrassing question she might have asked anyway. Like she was afraid of messing up a speech. Except that she asked it more than once until I told her I could take care of it.
"You can just pour the drinks, Melissa seems like she knows what she's doing." Cook said at last.
She also couldn't keep the three different drinks straight, I think she might have asked that a couple times as well when I wasn't in the room to keep her from it. Cook seemed amused more than anything else, and while pouring drinks mum seemed her normal self, joking with the old people and not asking anything else until I was hoping that her memory had all come back. We were told that we could eat in the kitchen so we enjoyed the meal while I asked mum if she was remembering anything yet. It seemed a bit better, however I r instructed her not to ask any more questions because she was asking the same thing over and over. She seemed amused.
"What did I ask?"
"Well you kept asking how you should ask what kind of drink the person wanted, and then you couldn't remember which drink was which." I told her.
"That's embarrassing. This isn't what I meant to wear either."
"I was wondering. What do you think happened this morning?"
"I wonder if I bumped my head or something. I felt like I was dreaming."
"That's weird." I said. We stayed and helped clean up and before we left mum apologized.
"I'm sorry if I seemed a little out of it. This was really fun though."
"Oh that's all right. Thank you for your help." Said Cook. On the way back, mum realised that she hadn't parked where she meant to, and by the time we got home she was back to normal, but didn't remember much of the party.
"What did I say again?" She'd ask. And I'd tell her how she kept repeating the same questions. She also found her clothes on the bed where she'd meant to leave them. Instead, she said she'd just picked her clothes off the floor which were probably for the wash. We'd been payed to help and mum felt so guilty that she didn't even remember what she'd done to earn the money, that she called and said she'd do something else for them and was sorry for acting weird. They said that the only thing they'd noticed was that she kept asking for examples of how to ask the people what they wanted and that it wasn't any trouble. She still doesn't know what happened that day, but I think it might have been lucid dreaming. Whatever it was, I hope it doesn't happen again!

This New Year's Eve was actually fun. I went to a friend's house from school and a whole bunch of us stayed up and, after the toast, ran to the end of the street at midnight, shouted happy new year, and ran back in. Then we stayed up all the way until 3ish and then people began going home. I love staying awake!